Quotes
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Clara: There's no way out of this. We're going to die here.The 12th Doctor: Pass me the vibro-cutters.
Clara: They're in my pocket.
The 12th Doctor: Come on then, pass them to me.
Clara: In my other jacket. At home.
The 12th Doctor: Why have you got two jackets? Is one of them faulty?
"Of course we won't starve. The sand piranhas will get us long before that." ~ The Twelfth Doctor
The 12th Doctor: I'm the new caretaker. John Smith.
Danny: Welcome to Coal Hill, Mister Smith.
The 12th Doctor: Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name. But, you know, here's a thing. Most people just call me the Doctor.
Clara: Deep cover in my school? Why? Where's Atif, what have you done with him?
The 12th Doctor: He's fine. Hypnotised. He thinks he's got the 'flu. Also a flying car and three wives. It's going to be a rude awakening.
The 12th Doctor: Listen, it's lovely talking to you, but I've really got to get on. I'm a caretaker now. Look, I've got a brush.
Clara: Doctor, is there an alien in this school?
The 12th Doctor: Yes, me. Now, go. The walls need sponging and there's a sinister puddle.
Clara: You can't do this. You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people.
The 12th Doctor: I lived among otters once for a month. Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight...
Clara: Human beings are not otters!
The 12th Doctor: Exactly. It'll be even easier.
The 12th Doctor: Go and sing with the otters.
Clara: I hate you.
The 12th Doctor: That's fine. That's a perfectly normal reaction.
The 12th Doctor: Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796.
Clara: This is Mr. Smith, the temporary caretaker and he's a bit confused.
The 12th Doctor: Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time, she was so busy doing...
Clara: Oh, I suppose she as your bezzie mate, was she and you went on holidays together and then you got kidnapped by Boggons from space, and then you formed a band and met Buddy Holly!
The 12th Doctor: No. I read the book. There's a bio at the back.
The 12th Doctor: I'm sure I won't need you, Sergeant. Fully qualified. (sparks) You best get back to your PE class.
Danny: Oh, I teach maths.
The 12th Doctor: Do you? What, in emergencies?
Danny: No. I'm a maths teacher.
The 12th Doctor: Can't you read?
Courtney: Course I can read. Read what?
The 12th Doctor: The door. It says, Keep Out.
Courtney: No, it says, Go Away Humans.
The 12th Doctor: Oh, so it does. Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign.
"Oh, listen, there's the bell. Off you go. Haven't you got shoplifting to go to?" ~ The Twelfth Doctor
The 12th Doctor: I used to have a teacher exactly like you once.
Clara: You still do. Pay attention.
Blitzer: Range one point four nine scan complete problem problem.
The 12th Doctor: Listen. I'm unarmed. I'm peaceful. Don't you understand? I, I know that you shouldn't be on this planet but I can help you with that. I...
Blitzer: Problem solution destroy.
"Oh, oh, well done, PE, brilliant work. What's this? A chronodyne generator? I'll just deactivate that, shall I? I've got a swimming certificate so that qualifies me to meddle with higher technology. Never mind that some people are actually trying to save the planet. Oh, no. There's only room in my head for cross-country and the offside rule." ~ The Twelfth Doctor
"Clara, why are you talking to him like that? Why are you using words like chronodyne? Was that thing a space thing? Oh. Oh, my God, you're from space. You're a spacewoman. You said you were from Blackpool." ~ Danny Pink
Danny: How stupid do you think I am?
The 12th Doctor: I'm willing to put a number on it.
Danny: I'm not a moron, Clara. And he's not the caretaker. He's your dad. Your space dad.
The 12th Doctor: Oh, genius. That is, that is really, really brilliant reasoning. How can you think that I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age?
Clara: We do not look the same age.
The 12th Doctor: I was being kind.
The 12th Doctor: And when this is all over, you can finish the job.
Clara: How do you mean?
The 12th Doctor: Well, you've explained me to him. You haven't explained him to me.
The 12th Doctor: Now you mention it, being a Time Lord, I can feel a light shield aura when it's right next to me.
Danny: Oh ho, ho. Time Lord? Might have known.
The 12th Doctor: Might have known what?
Danny: Well, the accent's good, but you can always spot the aristocracy. It's in the, the attitude.
"Humans. I never learn." ~ The Twelfth Doctor
Danny: You're using her like a decoy?
The 12th Doctor: No, not like a decoy. As a decoy. Don't they teach you anything at stupid school?
Danny: Well, is there anything I can do?
The 12th Doctor: Yes. Yes, and this is very, very important. Leave us alone!
Clara: Why's it listening to you?
The 12th Doctor: Listening to its superior. This is a rough copy. It thinks I'm its general. Initiate input. Commence shutdown protocol. No conflict. Conclusion?
Blitzer: Problem solution.
The 12th Doctor: Conclusion.
Blitzer: Final input code missing. Emergency terminate. Initiate self-destruct in nine eight...
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Trivia
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Jane Austen began writing the novel Pride and Prejudice after staying at Goodnestone Park in Kent with her brother Edward and his wife in 1796. The novel was originally titled First Impressions by Jane Austen, and was written between October 1796 and August 1797. So in the context of this story, both the Doctor and Clara are equally correct.
Clara speculates that The Doctor and Jane Austen were kidnapped by "Blogons," causing him to criticize the made-up race's name. "Blogons" is the name of an enemy alien race in "Inspector Spacetime," the Doctor Who spoof featured in several installments of "Community."
Trailer
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Doctor Who: Season 8 DVD is available at Amazon.com
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